Why Writing Is Tough For Me, or a glimpse into my zany brain

I am the biggest procrastinator in the universe. I'm worse than anyone I know, have ever met, or will ever meet. I will do everything in the house besides what I need, or even want, to do. I hate making beds, but I'll wash the sheets, wait for them to dry, make the bed, take the pillowcases off and put them back on again, (Ok so I'm OCD too) fluff the pillows, re-arrange the already obsessively-placed pillows into a more fitting color pattern, then decide I don't like the current down comforter...head to the hall closet in search of a better, warmer, prettier down duvet (comforters are SO early 2000s and we're in a new decade...need a new bedspread), and realize the closet is a mess! Time to reorganize! ADD, anyone? 2 hours (and 3 closets) later, the bed is made, but I still have to make my way down my to-do list...

I moved to Washington, DC on the first of November. I still need a new day job, new apartment, new family practice doctor, new ladies doctor, new psychiatrist, new therapist, new massage therapist, an acupuncturist recommended by my current 6 doctors, new trigger point therapist, new dermatologist, etc. Ok, I've never been to a dermatologist, nor a massage therapist, but now's as good a time as any, right?

Alright, I admit it. Along with OCD, ADD, SAD, and pretty much every other anxiety disorder you can think up, I'm a hypochondriac, too. My shoulder's been hurting for 3 years and I'm finally getting around to working toward solutions. Then 3 weeks ago my knee gives out. Like an 86 year old grandma. Not even joking. While I'm getting into a kneeling position to start the exercises my physical therapist gave me for my frozen shoulder, I simultaneously feel/hear 3 clicks of the knee then I'm on my face. O-M-Geeee. Did I mention I have zero pain tolerance?

So how am I ever to update my food blog when I'm on the floor, clearly so forgetful due to ADD that I sometimes forget to eat, not to mention the social anxiety disorder that keeps me indoors, out of the judgmental public's eye? How can I go to restaurants-- Out the door?? Onto the metro??? Into the city????

This a little taste of me. It may sound extreme, but I got issues. Doesn't everybody? I try to laugh about them. I laugh at myself. Oh I'm VERY good at being self-deprecating. I could do stand-up...if I wasn't so petrified of being in a large group of people. All staring at me. Waiting for me to make them laugh. I write, so I can see humor in just how much of a crack-up I am. It's my passive-aggressive way of throwing myself out there to the world. But the truth is, I'm alright. I'll be ok. I read many books, and this lifelong habit helps me to realize I'm not the only fruit loop out there.

Anne Lamott, for example, has all kinds of issues, and look how funny her books are. She is one of my heroes. If her life was perfect, I wouldn't want to read about her. Hello, can we say boring? The imperfections are what make her REAL and FUNNY and HUMAN, hence a better read. Besides, I think we all compare ourselves to others so we come out looking "normal"- even though I don't believe "normal" even exists. Anne Lamott is quirky, but knows who her friends are. She seems the type who can laugh as hard as she can cry-- who doesn't care about her past, as messed up as it may look on paper. In fact, writing those messes out turned her into the beloved writer and fantastic woman that she is today.

This is how I want to be. I want to be like Anne Lamott, who started out as a food writer by the way, and now is this hilarious role model writer lady. Based on her quirks and impurities, she's the funniest writer on the market. In my book, she couldn't be more lovable.

So about the food, as it is, after all, the reason for this blog...

please read next post, entitled "How to Boil an Egg"...

It's OK to be quirky,
Shannon