the AWESOMENESS diet

Allo loves!

Why have I not written in like 100 days, you ask? Not really. Has it really been that long?

1) I am a procrastinator. Like the biggest procrastinator ever. Like a procrastinator that would win an award for..."best procrastinator". Or something.

2) I can't think of another reason besides "I'm the biggest procrastinator".

The truth is, I love to eat. And I love to write. And I even love to write what I EAT. But. I get lazy. Have too high of expectations (for myself and everyone else for that matter) and NEVER post on here! But I do have heaps of notebooks lying about, with scribbles and tattered pages and crossed out words about dreamy food....and then I read a blog. Like Smitten. And Orangette. Or Cannelle et Vanille. Or Cupcakes and Cashmere. And then do that thing I do on Facebook. Where I COMPARE my life to everyone else's. And my writing to the queen bees of food blogging. And then I slam-shut my little notebooks, and the words never get to meet this thing we call the world wide web. Sad. :(

But I have become re-inspired! Kind of by mistake. Or by Pinterest. Or by default. Because I just like to say "by default" in conversation. Somehow it makes me think I know what I'm saying. Which I don't. (but I like to think I'm a good pretender)

By default::

I had to change my diet. ComPLETELY. To the anti-INFLAMMATORY diet. Because my body is INFLAMED. Why does INFLAMED demand to be written so LARGE?

It began around Christmas. The next bunch of whack symptoms I've been having for years! My feet start tingling, I get really tired, I read webmd and 600 other websites and find out I need B vitamins. I buy out CVS's supply of B vitamins. And fish oil, for good measure (and Funyuns, prob not for best measure). I pop a couple B vitamins a day, b6 and b12 I think, or maybe b1? And Christmas goes off without a hitch. (I think my mom's eggnog had a lot to do with it) I come home from lovely Christmas break and then muscle spasms like whoa commence coarsing through my legs. Seizing up and cramping and making me want to take one long hot bath. which I now have taken every day since Jan 5. I call all my doctors and naturally freak out and think that webmd is right and that I WILL become paralyzed so I start ingesting bananas. Because they don't make your legs fall off. Which I think they're going to do. And then write about it on Facebook in some desperate attempt to heal my limbs and chill my muscles. Which doesn't help, but I do find out that I probably have Lyme disease, says a very helpful, lovely woman and mother of a friend. She had it as did her entire family and then their lives were changed by a Lyme specialist in DC. So I call the Lyme specialist and can't pronounce his name. But he is awesome. Because everybody else says so too. On the Internet. But I have a personal connection to him, so I call him and his secretary is very sweet and informs me the next appointment is in June-or-July and would I like to be placed on a waiting list? I wouldn't but I say I would. Because, I think to my desperate self, I'll probably be paralyzed by June-or-July or my limbs may fall off from one large spasm leaving me to hop around on one leg. Or in a wheelchair. Which definitely isn't happening. Dying sounds less embarrassing. So I make the appointment. Knowing full well I won't be here anyway. Then the sweet receptionist tells me that the first appointment is seven hundred and fifty dollars and no they don't take health insurance, and why yes dear, you do have to pay up front. A five hundred dollar minimum, cash or check. Sweeeet. Not only will I be paralyzed and dead come June-or-July, I'll be bankrupt,too.

After having sweet-receptionist-lady who seems like a "Dolly" but is probably more like a "Pat" pencil me in, I decide that I DO want to live. And that I won't be paralyzed or dead by June-or-July. And that I should probably read about what I should...wait for it...EAT so as to live come June-or-July.

And THAT is how the anti-INFLAMMATORY diet came barreling into my life!

(Actually, a wonderful former college Resident Director of mine recommended it to me, based on personal experience of its great help in her own life.)

So, THIS is what I have been eating for like 26 days now. Really. twenty-six DAYSSSSS.

Oysters on the half shell
With like seventy five squeezes of lemon, Tabasco AND champagne mignonette.
Green Chiles from New Mexico
(thanks Sam)
(and thanks Jeremy for being born in New Mexico)
(and thanks Jeremy's parents for going to college in New Mexico so Jeremy can be born there and introduce me to green chiles from New Mexico)
Sushi
Mussels
Clams
Good thing I like shellfish
Bananas
Kale
Crispy kale
Raw kale
Over-salted kale
(oops)
Over-olive-oiled kale
Yum
Strawberries by the 5 lbs
Blueberries
Blackberries
More kale
Burnt kale
Major fail
More sushi with lots of pickled ginger
Raw salmon in sushi even though I don't like raw salmon
(it's better doused with low-sodium soy sauce and pickled ginger)
Dark chocolate (which actually tastes better now)
Red wine
Shiitake mushrooms
Spinach
Loads of greens
Did you know there was such thing as mustard greens?
I'm kind of scared to try them.
Oh and every nut you can think of.


What I can't eat::

EVERYTHING GOOD

But I AM noticing a huge difference from the diet. And I'm pretty excited about that.

I forgot GREEN TEA!!!!! Gallons and buckets and every large quantity of volume that you like to use. Of green tea. I love the stuff, and it seemingly loves me back. Because I pee about 500 times. An hour.

Did I also mention I am a chief exaggerator?

More on the AWESOMENESS diet you WISH you were on.

Love,
Shannon

Who misses cheese. And Coca-Cola. :/