pre-Thanksgiving reflections

I cannot BELIEVE tomorrow is Thanksgiving. As always, this year has flown by. I remember last Thanksgiving like it was yesterday. Probably because I spent 14 hours on a Greyhound. (But who's counting?) I spent the holiday in Boston and had a tremendous time packing as many family festivities as possible into 4 glorious days.

This year will be a little different. I'm not ashamed to admit that I couldn't afford the trip this year. I'd have loved to join my Massachusetts-based family, and will miss them dearly. It was a tradition I'd hoped to keep, traveling up there every year. I hope to make it up next year. I will miss adventures like enjoying dim sum in Chinatown, exploring the coast in Rockport, making Boeuf Bourguignon together (my first time!) and the trek to the holiday feast at family friends Bruce and Bill's place in Concord.

Anyway, tonight as I was reflecting on Thanksgivings past I realized that I never published any photos from that trip. I never blogged about that trip. This time last year I was newly consumed with someone I'd met which unfortunately developed into nothing, and spent most of my time texting him and waiting all Thanksgiving weekend to not hear one word back. I was deflated. This Thanksgiving is far different. I am learning at 31 to let go when the interest is not reciprocated. It has been a hard and humbling lesson. I am also trying to learn about not pursuing people. Just imagine how many blog posts I'd have written this year if I'd been less focused on the man I spent the entire year pining after. Lastly I am learning that it is ok to be too much. A dear friend was giving me advice this year when I asked her if she thought I was being overwhelming in what I thought and hoped would become my new relationship. She said I wasn't overwhelming at all, and that, in fact, I wasn't involved enough! I said "I'm too much. I know I'm just too much." Without a beat she said, "Be too much." It was advice that I did follow, because life is about being genuine. It's about authenticity, and being who you are. On this blog I hope to come across as honest and candid, but also authentic. That's what this blog's purpose really is. Anyway, I was exactly who I am this year. I was too much. I have a big, emotional, transparent personality. What you see is what you get. And I am proud of myself for not dumbing myself down to be anyone else.

Now I am hoping that I can be generous in the letting go. Live and let live. It is hard though, right? Hard not to feel maimed when things don't turn out the way you thought they would. The way you prayed they would. When you meet someone and they'd be a perfect fit, and were a perfect fit, and then the whole thing just backfires. I'm really not mad at him. Just thoroughly confused with myself for following my heart and it leading to nowhere. I trusted myself and my gut feeling...Not his fault! My intentions were pure. I think his were too. He's a beautiful man, and someone whom I still deeply respect and look up to. But nothing ever came of it. I don't know. I don't know why this keeps happening to me. The whole wearing your heart on your sleeve thing is draining. And a bit embarrassing. But you live you learn, and this Thanksgiving I am going to focus on the people in my life who are excited to be there. I think that's the big lesson of 2014: looking at what's (and who's) right in front of you and being grateful for what and who you have. I "have" so many people. Any girl would kill to have the loyal family I have, crazy as we drive each other. There's nothing like my family and I can't wait to fight with them over Thanksgiving turkey tomorrow. ;)

Here are some pics from last year's festivities up Boston way...


Don't let the shining sun fool you in this pic. It was freaking freezing in Boston. That is one thing I won't miss. I had to buy this here hat, about 5 min before taking this pic, because my ears were ruddy and nasty red and also felt like they'd succumbed to frostbite. I couldn't feel them. So yeah. Virginia will be slightly warmer.

This was a beautiful drive. The path from Boston out to Concord... I love fall in New England and beautiful winding roads like this one. What a drive.

As soon as I got to our benevolent hosts' home and saw this pie I knew I'd made the right choice for Thanksgiving plans. OMG-Blackberry pie. Step ASIDE, pumpkin! Blackberry pie is my favorite in the world and this one was perfection. I will have to get my aunt's recipe. (Update: I spoke to my aunt on the phone just now and she said it was actually called Razzleberry pie.)

Appetizers and small plates are my favorite part of any get-together, and our hosts were incredible in this department. The appetizers were the star of the show until the turkey appeared, and our one host was constantly filling our champagne flutes with bubbly while the other basted and rocked out on the turkey. My favorite part of this was the cheese tray, with cheeses from a local shop...

Julia Child's turkey. Amazing. Having once (and for the last time) hosted my own Thanksgiving feast, albeit nothing like this, for my ex and his family friend, I can say that hosting Thanksgiving is hella hard. My turkey didn't even fit in my city basement apartment and we had to use our upstairs landlord's instead. We? Ha! I cooked the entire Thanksgiving dinner that year while the boys drank beer and watched football and I can definitely say, it was the most exhausting thing I've ever done. And I cooked about a quarter of what these two did. That being said, I will never, EVER let a Thanksgiving go by without complimenting the chef (and no, not by belching...I'll throw you out) and without offering to help clean up. But this turkey. THIS TURKEY. It was amazing in every way, and it reminds me to pick up Julia's recipe for tomorrow. Although my dad is technically in charge of the turkey this year, I'll try to get my hands in there too.

This was the carrot soup that my aunt brought over from South Hamilton. It was a delicious pre-cursor to Thanksgiving dinner, and a tradition I hope to uphold in future Thanksgiving feasts!

I love dinner parties featuring all different sizes and shapes of beautiful glassware, and this table had them all. I love the look of champagne flutes next to different kinds of wine glasses. Gorgeous display.

This was the bottle of red our hosts provided and it was lovely. I drank so much of it. I very well could have been responsible for downing the whole thing. I was into it. Just as I was trying to remember the name of it and write it into my notebook, Bill brought over the bottle. I held it up to take a picture and am so glad I did. I'd forgotten about the bottle since, which is why I need to blog things when they happen instead of incessantly texting gorgeous, if unavailable, men! ;) #imnotbitter #wineovermen #okalittlebitter #buthewascharming

And finally, a shot of my Thanksgiving plate. I have it so good and am so grateful. I will focus on the blessings of food, family and good friends tomorrow and for Thanksgivings to come. #gratitude